im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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