do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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