At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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