He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
