the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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