I looked at my own cervix.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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