p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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