I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
