Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
