Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
this just has baby written all over it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
