Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
