My hand turned me down
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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