ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
