She said her name was "party"
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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