so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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