I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sext me about skeletons
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
