just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
