I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can't turn off my feet"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
