Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Im part way to drunk.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
