I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
