i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
