O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
