dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
