What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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