Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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