Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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