1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
