his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
