don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
