so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
