I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you would pick up someone in the library
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
