this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
