Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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