Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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