How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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