she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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