bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize