I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
