I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
