i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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