worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
