That's intense
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
