Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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