i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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