Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
