ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
