I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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