she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
