Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
