Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
