He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
