just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
