At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
