So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
