My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
