Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
