I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
