Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
