Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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