what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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