idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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