Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize