Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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